In the words of the great George Costanza, "I'm back, Baby!" My extended vacation hiatus has ended, and my return comes right as the Mets are prepared to win a few more games, raise expectations to unrealistic levels, then go into a slump right around David Wright's return and break all our hearts. In the meantime, I wanted to briefly comment on Jason Bay's grand slam, which has now officially replaced the time the Giants beat the 18-0 Patriots to win the Super Bowl as the most unlikely sports moment I've watched. I'm not even kidding: between Bay's unsightly futility since becoming a Met, the infamous (and not at all important) Great Grand Slam drought and the weird way Bay stood at the plate, trying to will the ball out of the yard with a facial expression usually reserved for those with serious constpiation issues, that was pretty much the perfect storm of ridiculousness.

I'll be back with more later. But I just couldn't let the Constipation Slam pass without comment. Perhaps the face was because Jason Bay's hitting ability has been constipated within him, and the flood gates are open. We can only hope.